February 2012
3 posts
"It's fine, I'm okay"
I ask strangers if they’re okay out of courtesy. I ask people I love and care about if they’re okay because I want to help and I want to be there for them. There’s a difference. It bugs me so much when I get the whole, “don’t worry, I’m totally happy and fine” act from someone I care so much about. After years of close friendship, I’d expect...
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A strong person stands up for themselves. A...
January 2012
12 posts
The stress of planning my future is starting to...
Everyone I’ve talked to just tells me to calm down, and they all say the same thing: You still have time.
But it’s kinda like, well no shit Sherlock, I have (hopefully) at least another 60 years of time. I know they’re just trying to help and make me feel better, but still. No matter what anyone says, the future will always scare me.
And lately I’ve been doing so much...
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I love re-reading my old journals.
The days I felt so happy I just had to write about so I’d never forget how I felt, the days I felt like I had no one to talk to so I would write away all my sadness, the days I was so flat out pissed that every other word was a swear word LOL… There’s just something so nostalgic about it all, reading about the moments that are now just memories. I could probably spend hours...
Lucky day
Usually I’m so superstitious about Friday the 13th being super unlucky but today was amazing, if I do say so myself. Got to sleep in for an extra hour, bussed to school but basically got to skip every single class because of bball. Left during second block and hung out at my locker and had the best talk (actually, LAUGH.. Actually started crying I was laughing so hard omg) with AN, CT, HZ,...
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"Don't get attached" means nothing.
You tell yourself not to get attached every time you meet someone who sweeps you off your feet— and it’s always there in the back of your mind, reminding you every time they text you something sweet, or melt your heart with one look. But somewhere along the way, you forget. One look, one sweet sentence, and it’s like getting sucked into a vortex of ‘I like you’. Then...
My mind's in overdrive.
I hate those times when I just can’t stop thinking. A million and one thoughts are going through my mind, about the same thing, about different things. I just feel so scrambled up inside and I have no control over it. My mind needs an ‘Off’ switch so that once in awhile I can relax, take a deep breath, and have no worries.
Repeating the process.
You’d think it’d be easier to say goodbye and let go every time because it happens over and over again, but it never is. You’d think that by now I’d be used to it—going days, weeks, months without seeing or talking to you. But this time you didn’t say good-bye, so everything’s just a little bit harder.
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Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012
WOW this year has gone by soooooo fast!! So many laughs, tears, memories. Everything I complained about just seems so minuscule now… just a small moment in time when I felt like my life sucked, haha. I feel like New Years is one of those days where I’m wanting and waiting for it the entire year then BAM! It’s over!
I’m so appreciative to all the new people I met, and the...
December 2011
25 posts
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Feeling blessed.
I’m so blessed to have family around to celebrate with, to yell at, to hug and kiss, to laugh with— to just be there. When I was younger Christmas was all about the presents. But now I’m just so glad and lucky to be able to spend every Christmas eve with my huge ass family of 50+ cousins and 20+ aunts/uncles, and every Christmas morning/day with my beautiful family of 5 :)...
“Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we...”
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This year it doesn't feel like Christmas...
First of all, there’s no snow.
Second, maybe I’m just getting old so everything seems less exciting.
Third, there’s no snow.
Oh and fourth, THERE’S NO SNOW.
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I'm meant to be single.
I just don’t like relationships. I’m scared of commitment, and I’m not afraid to admit it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in love, but I just can’t imagine myself being with someone for a really long time. I’ve always been the girl who got jealous at the cute couples on the street, holding hands—wishing I had something like that. But lately I...
You might just be the sweetest person I know.
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8 more days!
I’m honestly just so happy it’s winter break. I feel like all the stress I was under during school is completely gone. The only worries I have now are whether it’s going to be a white Christmas, and the 2938029923 million paper cuts I have from gift-wrapping :)
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I finally know how I really feel about you, and it’s because I don’t get butterflies when you’re around. I’m not always scanning the room for your face. I don’t feel the need to reply to your msgs right away when I’m busy and my stomach doesn’t drop when you don’t answer your phone. You just aren’t my first priority anymore.
Finding common ground
It’s amazing how much you learn just by having a real conversation with someone instead of the typical “Hey,” “What class do you have?” “That’s cool, see you later!”. I love when I find something in common with someone I never thought I’d relate to. The conversations are effortless because we actually have something to talk about.
2 tags
December showers
I love showers so hot I feel like my skin’s about to melt away. All my worries seep out of my pores and down the drain. Water working away at my back, gathering around my toes. The only place I’m guaranteed alone time. Quiet thoughts instead of loud voices. It’s one of the best things on a winter day.
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I hate when people are retelling a story and they put words into my mouth. If I didn’t say it before, I didn’t say it.
End of story.
Breaking point
I have feelings too. Treating someone like shit will get you nowhere. You never know how someone’s actually feeling when a smile could easily hide a thousand worries and insecurities. Be kind, for everyone’s fighting their own battle.
Countdown - Beyonce
What’s so wrong with wanting to become successful? I know what I want for myself, and that means doing well and making myself/my parents proud. I try hard to play hard. All this dedication and effort put into achieving my goals and dreams just puts me on my road to success.
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There's a certain point,
when people need to pull their own weight and stop being dependent on someone else to carry them on their shoulders. Stand up on your feet and do something for yourself instead of expecting it to be handed to you. If you aren’t putting anything in, how can you expect to get anything you want out?
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Working with partners/groups
I hate when I’m paired up with someone for a project or assignment who doesn’t do anything or doesn’t even care, and leaves everything for me to do. I don’t like chasing after people for information and wasting my time asking for this and that when they don’t make a certain deadline. I actually prefer working by myself. Most of the time it’s so much simpler,...
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Things I think about while cleaning my room:
OMG I’M A CAT. WHY IS THERE HAIR EVERYWHERE.
Is this food or…
Oh lol so this is where my homework went
I FUCKING HATE PENNIES
Oooo!!
This is pointless.
Why am I making my bed
Quarters, dimes, nickles everywhere… “Omfg I’m richhhhhh!!!!!!!”
Old lipgloss found behind bed? -Throws in backpack-
WHERE IS THIS HAIR COMING FROM.
I should stop eating in here
...
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Empathy
Today in Socials we were discussing cyberbullying and how teen suicides have been on the rise, and how finally there’s a sign of legislation somewhere in the congress. Honestly, I got so worked up in class talking about cyberbullying because I think it’s just so easy. People are killing themselves because of things other people say about them, anon or not, public facebook page/group or...
Just friends
I don’t understand why a girl and a boy can’t hang out and be just friends. Sure, maybe somewhere along the way, one falls for the other or vice versa. But either way, it doesn’t mean they’re dating. It doesn’t mean anything but two people of the opposite gender being friends… Unless they say otherwise.
November 2011
20 posts
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Listen
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I fell in love with my best friend.
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Productive days
I love those days where I come home from school or wherever, sit down at my desk and work on my homework until I’m finished. Or the ones where I get in a cleaning mood and just clean until my room is flawless. Those working/cleaning moods make me so happy because at the end of the day, I know I got stuff done and out of the way LOL
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Insatiable.
It takes so much for me to truly like someone or actually want to be in a relationship with them. I’m always picking out flaws before I even know where we’re heading. I’m never 100% satisfied.
I need to make up my mind.
I’ve been so confused and dishonest lately, about how I feel. I know how unfair it is to you because I’m in this in-between state, and I know you’re probably thinking I’m like PMS-ing or something but I’m not. It’s just that I don’t want to regret my decision, whether I say yes or no. I just don’t want to regret anything. I want to be sure.
2 tags
Things are so different from two years ago.
It’s kind of sad that there are some people I thought I’d be close to until graduation, that I’m not even really on speaking terms with anymore. We had so many dreams and secrets shared between us but as we grew older, something changed. I’ve noticed so many little things that have changed within me, as well as in my friends. I know who my real friends are now, the ones...
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I would totally make a beauty channel on Youtube just to get free shit….
lol
I want things I can't have.
I like the challenge that comes with trying to get something everyone thinks is impossible to achieve.